surfing on a wocket

We were in Chengde for a few days and today I tried to mail some things from the post office; it didn't work, it was hot, we'll try again tomorrow.

Today had plenty of those warm fuzzy study abroad moments, like talking to the manager at the restaurant to create a new kind of kong pow ji din (kung pow chicken) to have tofu instead, which was fantastic. There was reading about saving and giving face, which was something I'd discussed in English plenty of times with my dad, or thought about to myself. But today I thought about it and talked about it in its mother language. And what was interesting about that is the character used for face isn't necessarily 'face,' but more like a plane - that kind of abstract word. It's the same character you use for 'aspect,' and I'm realizing as I type this that I can't really explain it.

I taught Tan Qing how to say 'your MOM's blah blah blah,' and it turns out Chinese has kind of an equivalent. The best translation I can give is, "this food is his MOM'S good." I tried it out on one of the roommates I don't know very well and she laughed pretty hard. I asked if she was laughing at me (as opposed to with), and she said she was not. Success.

But I'm not really in China in my mind, I'm just thinking about place and my relationships with people, about the future, about how in the world will I find a job for this summer during a time period of five weeks.

I changed my major to a double major in Psychology and Chinese with a minor and Philosophy, and I'm super excited. I think I've been hiding for Psych for too long. There are a few reasons. One is that Guilford's psych department leaves a little to be desired and left a bad taste in my mouth for psych majors. I won't lie, I've met my share of psych majors that don't have two brain cells to rub together - and I find that ironic. But I figure I'll do it right - I'll do research, I will not tell stories from my own life in all my classes, and I will not diagnose myself or my friends with disorders that I do not have. I won't be like the Anth major in my Chinese class who answers our grammar questions, "What bad habits to Chinese people have that they should work on fixing?" with, "Every culture is different, there's no such thing as a bad habit." which is not only rude because it blatantly didn't use our grammar, but is also wrong. Unless you consider 'maladaptive' a neutral word, or something. In America, I'm sick of looking at women without curves, girls who are far skinnier than I am calling themselves fat. In China, I'm sick of seeing people throw bottles or ice cream wrappers or used tissues on the ground outside or to the side of a room. Someone will clean it up later.

I was on a train and a woman ate an apple, when she was done she dropped the core on the carpet. Then I saw her go back to her business, but interrupted herself later to look down at the apple. This is a critical moment, I thought, she feels remorse for littering on this train. Then she got up and walked to the closest seat. I'm guessing she wasn't happy with her seat now that there was an apple core there. Then one of the workers on the train walked over and she too took her time to stare at the apple. This is the someone later, I figured. Here she comes to clean it up, I guess things aren't terrible so long as there is someone there. But then she kicked the apple under the table. She went through great effort with her shoe to get it pushed to the side, out of sight. Then she walked away.

I'm not lying, she came back five minutes later with a broom, and I realized it was for some other purpose when she used the broom to again push the apple to the side. At this point the carpet had apple mung all over it and, to everyone's surprise, I guess, the apple was still there.

That's just something I don't quite understand, and to be completely honest it scares the crap out of me.

I don't mean to sound distant, but it is a weird time. Less than a month left in China - who knows when I'll be back? I've made friends with Tan Qing, real friends, and I'm not sure what'll become of our friendship when I go back to America. But I think this is something to talk about in a real journal.

It's too weird to me that in Chapel Hill everything's wrapping up now, that everything is hot and has bloomed, and in China things are only still thawing. I like to think about how that actually affects everyone's actual outlook. Making everyone twitterpated.

I need to go to sleep!